Goodbye Love

I have agonized over this blog post--to the point that I've left it for over a week, knowing that I don't have the words to describe the depth of emotion that I have about this mobilization. It's just hard to describe my feelings because I don't even understand them myself. It goes something like this. WAY back at the beginning of August, Brent announced to me that there was a possibility that he was going to be mobilized to Afghanistan. I'll never forget that moment. We were in the car on the way to his parent's house, surrounded by our beautiful(but mercifully not listening) children. That bit of news hit me like a ton of bricks. I remember the breathless terror that I felt, the fear of the unknown, the knowledge that I was going to have to walk a journey alone that I was positive I wasn't prepared for. As a Reserve family we're prepared for this news, but never really prepared for this reality. So many things flashed through my mind, but the most important was "How in the world are we going to tell our sweet babies?" It makes me cry even now to think of it. It's one thing for me to deal with Brent's absence. I can understand the importance of his commitment, be proud of his sacrifice and have an understanding of the timeline of his absence. Our children are simply not at an age where they can understand any of this. Every single day must feel like an eternity to them and they certainly can't comprehend me when I tell them how many weeks or months Daddy will be away from us. We decided that for their sake, we wouldn't tell them until about a week before Brent actually departed. We strove to pack as much family time and fun into the weeks before he left.

I remember feeling so relieved when we actually received Brent's orders and realized that he'd only been mobilized for four months...120 days. I could do this, I think. I remember feeling proud, so proud of the man that he is and the way that he faces this challenge and all other challenges with the assurance that God will give him the strength and ability to complete any task. I remember feeling so loved as the church got together for a Goodbye Potluck in his honor. Many of my family members attended and I so appreciated their support.

I remember feeling as though, even though a large part of my security was being ripped away from me, God was providing others who would lend me support and love that would allow me to make it through this time.

I remember thinking about the times that Brent has been away from us before. Certainly, we haven't done anything like a deployment to a war zone before, but from our previous military separations, I knew that I could live without him, but that my heart would feel sore and incomplete until he returned to me again.

I will never forget the relief I felt when we finally told the kids about Daddy's deployment. Although they had lots of questions, there was no crying and no fear from them. Thankfully, they're too young to realize the implications of his deployment and the danger which he would be in--we didn't enlighten them.

>I struggled with fear as the day of his departure dawned. Fear of the unknown, fear for his safety, fear for my sanity. Fear that we'd rarely get to communicate, fear that we'd grow apart as a couple and as a family while he was away. Thankfully, God has taken that fear and given me assurances. I have been assured that He continues to hold me in the palm of His hand and provide for us. I could not have imagined the outpouring of support and love that we've had from family and friends. We've received dinners, invitations and babysitting from those who love us and want to support us. I do NOT know what I would have done without that support. I have found joy, great joy, in the fact that we've been able to talk nearly every day of his deployment and that Skype has allowed the children to see him and hear him at the same time. What a wonderful resource.
Now I'm feeling a profound sense of relief. He'll be back home and in our arms within the next two weeks. We've almost made it. I won't say that it hasn't been rough, even agonizing in places, but we are happy and excited to be a compete family once again. We humans are made for companionship and even when surrounded by other people, your heart can feel broken as you yearn for that ONE person who you want to share everything with. Yes, we did have to say goodbye to our love, and we've been a little lost without him, but God has amazed us with His LOVE and provision for us. Always. We are so blessed.

Horsin' Around

We live minutes from a world class equestrian facility that we NEVER visit. Yes, it is pretty expensive to get in, yes it does appeal more to older children, no we have no more excuses! One day in late September, we kept Maura out of school and took a little trip to the Horse Park. We had such a great day enjoying gorgeous Kentucky in the Fall.

We wanted to enjoy some of the more kid friendly activities while we were there, so we headed straight for the playground and pony rides. The Horse Park was the scene of last year's World Equestrian games, so the park underwent a major overhaul to improve attractions. It really is a nice place to visit, especially with kids.

The kids were THRILLED to take a pony ride. I did NOT expect her to take both kids at once. I've spent enough time around ponies to realize that they can be a major pain in the rear when they want to be, but I guess these guys are just conditioned to walk around and around the circle and skip the shenanigans. Even Bennett got a turn to sit on the pony!

I think the playground's bouncy pony was more his speed. He's a bouncy pony pro because he has one in his room and he rides that pony hard! I love that we took an opportunity for a sweet photo of the kids with Daddy. This was one of our last family activities together before Brent's deployment and I'll always remember this beautiful fall day and the fun we had together.

What a couple of goof balls. This picture pretty much sums up their personalities. Maura goofs off and Tristan downs snacks as quickly as possible to avoid sharing!

We loved checking out all the different horse breeds in the breed barn. Bennett wanted to be wheeled up as close as possible to the screens so that he could check out the horses. This child is afraid of NOTHING. Oh, that's not completely true. If the horses had been humans DRESSED as horses, he would have run away in terror. Should make Disney really interesting! Meanwhile, Brent found a fake racehorse and had his own personal race. I'm pretty glad no one walked in to witness him beating his fake horse to make it win the "race."

We took in a cool "Parade of Breeds," where they brought horses of all description into the area. The kids especially loved the English Shire, all decked out in knights regalia. They couldn't wait to pet him at the end of the parade. Afterwards, Brent took the boys home for naps while Maura and I checked out a cool interactive Arabian horse exhibit where you created a virtual horse, named him, cared for him, and raced him. Maura loved it and can't wait to go back. I can't wait to enjoy this beautiful park again too...when Brent returns, which will be soon!!

Too much fun? What's that mean?

To round out all of our farewell activities prior to Brent's departure, Brent's parents came up for a weekend visit. We didn't tell the kids that Nan and Poppa were coming, so they were surprised and THRILLED when they showed up at our door. Dances of joy ensued for our children and Tristan glued himself to his Poppa's side. We had a fun afternoon playing with Nan and Poppa, capped off with a walk down the street for some ice cream. Could this day get any better for the kids??

Did I say walk?? Oh, yes, it was only the adults who actually walked. All the kids were pushed and pulled, even Bennett who wasn't interested in riding in the stroller.

YUM!! Bennett was thrilled to participate in this tasty treat! We got our ice cream and settled in on the picnic tables that overlook one of the busier streets in our town. All the adults were busy chatting when we noticed Tristan about ten feet away, facing the street with his pants around his ankles, peeing for all the world to see! How embarrassing! Wish I'd gotten a photo of that!!

We attempted to drown our embarrassment with a dip in Nan and Poppa's hotel pool.

The kids had a ball--and so did the adults watching them. The kids are absolutely in awe of a hotel. For them, it has all the excitement and fun of a world class five star establishment. I'm so blessed to be able to experience life through the eyes of my precious children.

Thanks, Nan and Poppa for such a fun day! We can't wait to visit again soon!

Grandparent's Night

Maura's school held a Grandparent's Night event in September. They held an Open House for parents prior to the start of school where we got to meet her teacher and see her room, but we hadn't been invited to another event since. Although this event was supposed to be just for Grandparents, we took the opportunity to tag along too. I wanted to see her work and see how she interacted with teachers and friends after the first month of school! I felt a bit conspicuous among the mostly over 50 crowd, but that didn't stop me!

Maura was so excited to show off her school and projects to Grammy and Pappap. She made this green butterfly box just for the occasion.

We enjoyed meeting up with some of her new friends and seeing her classroom now that it was filled with kindergarten artwork. Grandparents were asked to do a quick art project with their grandchildren and Pappap and Grammy were happy to oblige, despite the fact that they ended up with marker all over their hands!

I'm so glad that we were all able to be there to be part of Maura's special day.

The kids who were there performed a special little song for us. Look at my little joiner! This is the same child who I used to beg to participate in the activity songs at the library! We truly love Maura's school and the family atmosphere that they cultivate there. We're truly blessed that she's enjoying her kindergarten experience so much.

Football Farewell

Now that we've said our fond farewells to Christmas, I'm going to make a valiant attempt to catch back up on the blog. These events are already getting a bit fuzzy, so I'd better blog them before they disappear from my memory forever!

When we received Brent's orders regarding his mobilization, one of our first thoughts was that he'd be leaving in the middle of football season. This is a BIG deal. He has awesome assistant coaches, but being the head coach, it's difficult to just leave your team mid season. I think the sadness was pretty mutual--the players and parents hated to see Brent leave too. During one of the last home games, they did a tribute to Brent and invited us to attend as well. The kids and I watched the game from our usual spot in the parking lot of the end zone. I'm not foolish enough to attempt sitting in the stands with my active children. Bennett would certainly act like his usual kamikaze self and throw himself down the stairs. Nope, it's much safer to park ourselves down in the small coaches lot and allow the kids to play with balls as I attempt to watch the game.

My little baller. I can't wait to see how Bennett turns out athletically. He currently dribbles better than Maura and Tristan!

They called us up for a ceremony between the games. All the players and the cheerleaders formed a line and they read nice things about Brent as we walked down the 50 yard line. I had to work really hard not to cry in front of a whole stadium of people. Maura got mugged by cheerleaders after the ceremony. She likes hanging out with the cheerleaders and sometimes attends their practices after school.

The football parents brought the kids balloons and me flowers. Brent was presented with a signed football. We truly felt loved and honored by this wonderful group of people.

We rounded out the evening by Tristan doing the coin toss for the eighth grade game. What a fun and memorable evening!